I entered into the one of DC’s oldest BDSM Private Clubs.

Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism. These four words describe a lifestyle that has been stereotyped as abusive sexual relations. It is also not exactly like the 50 shades of grey films either. BDSM is far from that stereotype. (I still haven’t seen the films.) In order to shed a new light on this topic I took a step into one of the oldest organizations in DC and attended a Black Rose Gateway class at the Crucible DC.

The Crucible DC was founded in 1987 and is a 501(c)7 members only, non-profit, private social club. It’s not just for people who want to play in the BDSM realm, but also for other fetishists as well. This is such a private space that you cannot use your phone beyond the lobby. To attend the Black Rose Gateway event, you have to pay a $5 fee. They ask that you come in casual or business attire, so that attention is not brought to the club.  We arrived late so I did miss a portion of the gateway class.

So, what is BDSM? The answer is not just in the first line of this sentence. There are many rules and safety measures to ensure that everyone has a pleasurable time. Everyone plays a specific role such as Tops, Bottoms, Doms and Subs. When I arrived, I noticed that everyone there looked like your average person you would see while walking down the street. M our female presenter and our male presenter were talking about how there are different styles of BDSM. Some of the audience threw out answers like polyamory, monogamy, primal and animalistic. The most important topic of the night was consent. Consent can be a negotiation, words, question, and even body language. Our hosts made it clear that you have to follow the golden rule. Treat others the way you want to be treated. To be able to consent you must be of age, sober and willing. You can’t have a coerced consent nor can you negotiate mid-scene. M gave out some advice to everyone “Try things out, get curious and explore yourself.”

Safe words was another important topic. This is something you both come up with to use without saying stop. Some examples of safe words are caution, red, yellow, purple, double tapping and dropping keys. People in the lifestyle do not want to fetishize their play partner/s. Fetishizing can be wanting someone only for their body type, age, sex, gender and race. In order to set up a scene you both have to come up with the elements of play. What are the feelings that you intend to have before it’s over? How do you want to go about playing this out? What is leading up to the event? By the way not all scenes contain sex.

The next topic was aftercare which are the things you need to do to get back to yourself. Both parties need aftercare. There are red flag negotiations which are when a person wants to play with a chainsaw or take out your kidneys. They say if the aftercare doesn’t match don’t do it. Name calling is an interesting topic because on movies they make it seem like a Dom would be calling the sub mean names. In actuality they are respectful with the name calling. Nothing is said that is racist or demeaning.

The people that live this lifestyle are big on respecting everyone for who they are. That means they call people by the pronouns, sex and gender they are comfortable with. If you see someone who you know by their play name outside of the club, they’d prefer to have you feel out the situation first. Don’t just run up to them and call out their play name. Ask first before you touch someone or even hug them. Some people don’t like to be touched. Also do not ask what is in their pants…that’s rude you guys.

The Crucible DC has socials on the last Friday of the month. There are classes every Tuesday from 8-9:30pm. There will be a special interest group that will meet on the 17th of November. Spanksgiving will be this month and it is $30 a year to become a member.

I want to give a shout out to the bartender at the Rocketbar at Gallery Place Chinatown. Honey you gave me some of the best happy hour drinks I’ve ever tasted. You could literally taste the vodka. That is how I want my drinks. So, to the female bartender with the blonde hair, You are awesome!

Posted by

My name is Queen Pedii. I write stories, event reviews and fan fiction. I own a business (Queen Pedii), Web Radio Show (Pedii Talks Music), a Gaming show (Pedii Talks Gaming) and a mobile app (Brighter Day App). Want me to do a specific event contact me at queenpediiwrites@gmail.com

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s